


I'm Not as Think as You Drunk I Am

by AKnightOfWren



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ben is an adorable drunk, Drunken Shenanigans, F/M, Family, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Hux was the responsible one, M/M, Phasma is sick of their shit, Poe Should Not Be Allowed To Plan Nights out, Poe is as expected, Pregnancy, Rey just wants ice cream, Won't someone please think of the animals
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-18
Updated: 2018-09-18
Packaged: 2019-07-14 03:13:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16031819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AKnightOfWren/pseuds/AKnightOfWren
Summary: When Poe Dameron and Hux invite Ben Solo out for a drink just before Halloween to celebrate his impending fatherhood, what could possibly go wrong?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Here is my fic for the Two Part Prompt. I've got three chapters lined up, the first two are done! I hope you enjoy the shenanigans as much as I enjoyed writing it.

 

“Are you absolutely sure you’re going to be okay tonight, Rey?” A concerned Ben asked for the second time in the past 10 minutes.

It was nearly Halloween in Coruscant and Poe had finally managed to convince Ben to go out for some drinks with himself and their mutual friend, Hux for the last time before their birth of his and Rey’s first child to “wet the baby's head.” No one had yet told Poe that usually that happens _after_ the baby has arrived.

“Ben if you ask me once more-” she paused as she looked at his worried face and sighed. “I will be absolutely fine. _We_ will be absolutely fine if I need anything Finn is just next door,” she told him sternly but kindly. “We have ice cream, a heat pad and Judge Judy on repeat. You have nothing to worry about, so go out and enjoy yourself. Who knows when that will be possible again after this little one arrives. Okay?” She tells him with a soft smile.

“How can you watch that garbage?” He asked her, wrinkling his nose in response. “But okay. I promise we won’t get too drunk. Call me if you need anything, alright? Even if it’s just more ice cream” he winked and retrieved his keys from the bowl and shrugged on his jacket.

“I promise I’ll call,” she told him reassuringly as she rubbed her thumb over the back of his hand. He pulled her to him and hugged her gently, careful not to put too much pressure on the swollen stomach nestled between them. She looked up at him as he bent down and softly kissed her nose and then her lips before offering a bright smile as he backed away and allowed her to take her seat back on the couch.

“I love you,” he told her, “both of you.”

“We love you too, get going before Dameron shows up and disrupts my quiet evening,” she responded with a laugh.

“Got it, we wouldn’t want that now,” he responded and quickly left to find his friend. The sooner he left, the sooner he’d be home. Or at least, that was his plan.

 

* * *

 

“Alright, boys, shots all round!” Poe announced as the three men took their seats at a table in the center of the quiet old bar. “I’m not taking no for an answer,” he said, pointing at Ben who quickly shut his mouth and frowned.

“Take it easy, Dameron. If you get me drunk enough that I miss the birth of my first child you will pay” Ben told him seriously.

“Please, Solo, take the stick out of your ass for just one night,” Poe responded, watching as their friend, and owner of the bar, Phasma showed up with their first of, what would be many, round of shots.  

 

* * *

 

After his third round of shots, Ben began to feel himself loosening up enough to start enjoying himself. It was fine, its just one night, Poe was right. What's the worst that could happen?

 

* * *

 

Ben threw back his fifth shot of Corellian whiskey, at least, he was fairly sure it was his fifth. The shots were beginning to blend together in his memory.

“..and its got all these little vei-” Poe tried to explain as Ben cut him off suddenly.

“Dude no, you already described Finns... In shockingly great detail not five minutes ago. Please, not again.” Ben told him as he pinched his nose and closed his eyes tightly, trying to expel the image from his mind as thoroughly as possible.

“I did?” Poe replied cluelessly.

“Yep,” Hux replied “even drew us a ‘detailed’ diagram,” he said, wrinkling his nose and waving the crumpled up napkin in front of Poes face.

“Hey look!” Poe cried suddenly, pointing to a group of men a few tables over engrossed in something Ben couldn’t quite see. “Let's go and play Poker!”

“I don’t know.. I only have,” he stopped and checked his wallet. “twenty bucks, Poe.”

“Tell you what, If we go and play I’ll buy drinks for the rest of the night” Poe bargained with him slyly.

Ben thinks about it, what’s the worst that could happen? “Alright, fine” he responded

Clapping his friend on the shoulder, Poe got up and approached the men to ask if they would mind the three friends joining their game. On his way back to the table he stopped at the bar for another round of shots.

 

* * *

 

Ben was seven rounds in when he switched to beer, and he was better at Poker than he realized. Not only had his $20 become $250 dollars but he had somehow acquired a very large dog he was beginning to think may or may not be magic, the more he ran his hands through his velvety fur.

“Well, you win again Ben.” A man they had learned was named Jeremy told him, sliding him a pile of crumpled up dollars and a set of keys across the table before making his leave from the table, leaving the three friends alone again.

 

* * *

 

Ben was now nine rounds in and beginning to believe the sound around him was visible. He drunkenly wobbled to the bar to find Poe, finding him screaming into his phone hysterically.

“Hux. Hux. Bro, what’s he doing? What’s happened?” Ben demanded as the redhead, surprisingly much more sober than his friends, watched on with amusement.

“Poe has been trying for the half an hour you were spaced out at the table with your new pet to get through to the White House as he wanted to check if the J in Donald Trump’s name stands for Jasmine like he believes it does.” He told him with a snigger.

Ben blinked quickly, trying to take in what Hux was telling him. “What?”

“Exactly, Ben,” He tells him, “it makes as much sense as you think it does.”

 

* * *

 

They were eleven rounds in and Ben thought he may possibly be dead. It was just past 2:30am and they were sitting in the now very desolate bar tossing peanuts into the air and watching Ben's new dog jump up and catch them in his mouth while they laughed hysterically.

Hux turned to him and asked him a question that hadn’t yet occurred to him yet. “Hey, what are you going to tell Rey about your new friend here?” He queried.

Ben thought about it for a second “it will be fine. Rey loves dogs” he told him, waving off his friends question

“I don’t know, aren’t you afraid it will eat your baby?” Hux asks with genuine concern in his face.

“Nah man, haven’t you ever seen Lassie?! Dogs love kids!” Poe chimed in. “It’s my favorite movie, I would know.” He told them matter of factly whilst eyeing Ben with utter contempt. “Unlike someone here.”

Neither one of the three men saw Phasma sneak quietly to the back of the bar to find her cellphone.

“Poe what _are_ you talking about?” Hux asked, wondering if he should have been cutting his friend off.

Ben rolled his eyes, despite how drunk he was he knew exactly what his friend was going on about. “This again?” He sighed dramatically. “That’s fine, I am more than happy to explain why Frozen is my favorite film,” said Ben.

“Firstly, it teaches the importance of accepting yourself for who you are. Secondly, it shows that unlike other movies, women do not need a man to save them, that romance is not the answer to every story. Thirdly, it teaches you that true love doesn’t have to be romantic. It can be a friend or a sibling and it also teaches you the importance of family. And lastly, it teaches you how differently a person can react to a similar situation, in this case, it’s isolation. Anna from her sister and Elsa from the manifestation of her powers and the separation her parents put in place between herself the people of Arendale.”

He finished with an intake of breath as Hux and Poe both stared at him bewilderedly.

“Dude, you’re sooooo drunk” Poe exclaimed, giggling hysterically.

Hux just continued to stare at Ben, not quite willing to believe that the hulking great man had a soft spot for a Disney movie. “Well, honestly Ben I’m just disappointed in you that your favorite isn’t the Lion King. I mean, who raised you?” Hux finally said.

The men sat quietly, taking in the silence of the bar around them, now empty for the exception of them. Breaking the silence, Poe spoke again. “W-we should get tattoos!” He shouted excitedly.

“Absolutely not” Hux shouted.

“Absol-absolutely not” Ben piped up, stumbling on his words, the alcohol now thoroughly going to his head.

At this point, Phasma reappeared from the back of the bar “No, Poe, that’s enough. You’re abusing your alcohol privilege” she told him with a sigh, as Rey and Finn entered from behind her.

“I- I don’t abuse it,” he told her, swaying on his feet slightly. “I teach it a fuckin’ lesson.”

“I, however, have only ever spoken,” Ben stopped to hiccup, “very highly of it.”

“Ben Solo! What the hell is going on here?” Rey voiced their presence loud enough that the two men swiveled on their feet and turned to their respective partners.

It was at that point, Ben realized he was fucked.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here we cut to Reys POV as the boys begin to slowly forget the events of the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heres the second part! Number 3 should arrive tomorrow! Hope you're enjoying, please let me know below!

Rey awakened to the sound of her cell phone ringing and vibrating against the table next to her side of the bed. Not yet willing to open her eyes she pushed out her arm and felt around the table in hopes of finding it and shutting it off as soon as she possibly could. 

_ Ugh _ , she thinks to herself and checks the clock,  _ who in their right mind calls someone at.. 2:47am?! _

On finding her phone, she checked the caller ID.  _ Why is Phasma ringing me?  _ Curiosity got the better of her, finally deciding to answer.

“Hello?” she answered blearily into the handset. 

“Rey?” She heard Phasma’s tired, British accent query from the other end. “Did I wake you?”

“Are you kidding me? Its three in the bloody morning Phas, what else would I be doing?” She grumbled and rubbed the sleep from one of her eyes. “What do you want?”

“I have something that belongs to you here at the bar. Here, take a listen.” She heard Phasma remove the phone from her ear and suddenly the voices in the background of the small bar became understandable. 

“That’s fine, I am more than happy to explain why Frozen is my favorite film,” She heard the deep velvety voice of her husband, Ben Solo shout in the background.

“Oh Christ..” she muttered, pinching the bridge of her nose and sighing deeply. He must be drunk if he’s started up the Frozen argument. So much for not getting too drunk. “I’ll be right there, Phas. And please, cut him off.”

“Excellent,” she said, “and bring Finn with you, will you? I have something here for him as well.” She hung up swiftly, leaving a very pissed off Rey praying Finn hadn’t silenced his phone or this may be a very long night. 

 

* * *

 

15 minutes later, Rey and a very drowsy Finn were seated in the front of her newly bought Ford Falcon and heading towards the bar to retrieve their respective partners, not knowing exactly what they were going to find when they arrived there.

“Let’s go out for Halloween, Ben, we haven’t gone out for a drink for a while, Ben!” Rey ranted to her friend on the way. “The next time Poe suggests drinks I’m going to drown him in them” she grumbled. “If either of them throws up in my car..”

“In hindsight maybe we  _ should _ have gone with them, Peanut,” he told her with a yawn. “If we did, we might be still in bed like normal people,” he said, hoping to pacify her. 

“Speak for yourself, I’d just gotten to sleep because this one decided tonight would be the perfect night to practice judo on my ribs,” she said, gesturing to the pregnant belly just about showing under the massive jumper she had stolen from Ben. 

“Well,” Finn started to laugh, “at least this is perfect practice.”

“I don’t know.. I think I’d much rather deal with a vomiting baby than a vomiting husband” she grumbled back, the corner of her lip slightly upturning. “Let's hope Ben’s not drinking whiskey. Usually one disappears and the other ends up naked.”

They pulled into the car park of The Captain, the bar owned by their friends Phasma and Rose, and pulled into the first parking spot closest to the door, not knowing what to expect when it comes to Poe’s ability to get them both drunk. 

“Ready?” Finn asked and looked at her with a doe-eyed expression, having been present for a few too many drinking sessions in the past to know what the pair is like all too well. 

“Ready.” She agreed with a sigh and a nod and they both get out of the car, making sure to lock it behind them as they walked around the building to the back door Phas had ensured to leave open for them. 

 

* * *

 

“No, Poe, that’s enough. You’re abusing your alcohol privilege” Phasma told him with a sigh, as Rey and Finn entered from the back of the bar. 

It was nearly 3:30am and they, along with a rather large Leonberger dog, were the only ones in the building. 

“I- I don’t abuse it,” he told her, swaying on his feet slightly. “I teach it a fuckin’ lesson.”

“I, however, have only ever spoken,” Ben stopped to hiccup, “very highly of it.” 

“Ben Solo! What the hell is going on here?” Rey voiced their presence loud enough that the two men swiveled on their feet and turned to their respective partners. She sighed and carried on. “I suppose I should be grateful you have your pants on.” Phasma took this moment to quickly duck out before the two realized she had called their spouses on them.

The only response from him she got was a sudden intake of breath and a look of shock on his face as he stumbled and attempted to hide the rather large dog from her view “Rey!” He pointed at her very swollen stomach and loudly announced: “You’ve swallowed a planet!”

“What are you trying to hide? Her eyes widened, suddenly taking notice of the dog her husband was shamefully attempting to hide “Is that your dog?!” she demanded, hands on her hips, the perfect impression of the mother she would soon become. “Hang on. WHAT did you just say about me, you nerfherder?!” She took a step towards him.

“So.. Funny story..” Ben began, in a bid to distract her whilst trying his hardest to remember  _ exactly  _ how he became the owner of the gigantic dog that, Rey, could only describe was more bear than a dog. “We got asked to play in a Poker game with a b-bunch of guys and WE  _ WON _ , REY!” 

“And he was your prize?! Why didn’t you win money like a normal drunk?!” she demanded, running her hand over her face.

“I’m not as think as you drunk I am” he demanded, tiredness taking over now that he had been pulled out of the situation.

“Uhuh, I’m sure you’re not” Rey responded with a sigh as she settled next to him on a bar stool and eyed the dog warily “We need to be getting you home, Benny.”

“No! I’m having fun here!” he shouted, resembling a small child as he jutted out his lower lip and pouted. “We’re supposed to be friends Rey!” he told her stubbornly, “it’s 5 o'clock somewhere!”

“Yes Ben, it’s almost 5 o'clock in the morning!” she tells him with a sigh, feeling the overwhelming urge to run her hand down her face for what felt like the hundredth time that night “and we’ve been married for the past 2 years dummy. I’m tired, the baby is tired..” she told him and took his hand, resting it on her stomach gently, hoping that it would bring out a more sober part of her husband. 

She watches as his eyes soften as he looked between his wife and her stomach, clearly realizing he’s losing his fight. “Okay,” he told her, “we’ll go. But I want to get food on the way home.”

“Now that’s something I can get behind!” she grinned and moved to get up. 

“I’d quite like to sit on your face and just take things from there.” The words spilled out of his mouth before he could quite realize what he’d just said.

Rey’s mouth dropped open, not quite believing what he’d just said. “BEN! Seriously?!” She shouted as she looked around. Rey looks thoughtful as she took in his messy hair, falling into his dark chocolate eyes and made a sudden, pregnancy-induced, decision. “...Maybe after we get food,” she replied cheekily. 

Too caught up in their bubble, Rey then realized that somewhere along the way she had lost sight of Finn after he dragged Poe off to scold into sobriety.  _ Or at least she hoped that's where he has dragged him off to.  _

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And next comes the morning after! Someones going to need some Tylenol. If you're still with me, reading along, thank you so much! Please let me know what you think below. Your comments are my sustenance!


End file.
